Julie finally got her car back on Friday. It only took the auto place THREE WEEKS to fix her car (that they esitmated a week)! YAY!!!

On a more serious/depressing note:
I’ve been kind of down lately. Living at my dad’s house is still weird. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get used to ir, and more importantly, I’m not so sure that I want to. I miss my mom, and at the same time I never want to see her again … and I believe that she feels the same way by the “conservations” that we’ve had on the phone since I left. It kills me sometimes … the decisions I make (or have made). Even when I’m doing them I question what good I really thought would come out of it, but that just doesn’t seem enough to make me want to stop. It seems that no matter what I try to do to keep myself from making such poor choices, that I continue to do things that could potentially screw up the rest of my life (and some already have). The amount of guilt that I have stored up for all the things I’ve done and said to people is enough to make me explode … I wish it would all just go away and never, ever show its ugly face again. Alas, that isn’t how it works. I will have to find some way of dealing with my anger, other than acting upon it. I’m not sure how long that will take … or what that may entail … but I know that I have absolutely no choice anymore. I nearly did something that I know for a fact would have ruined whatever happiness I have left, as well as others. I hate myself so much more times than not. My only hope now is to pray, continuously. Please help me …