Josh’s Random Non-Sense!

I had two interviews today with the assistant manger and the general manager at the CompUSA in Cool Springs right after school today. When I got there I had to wait about 10 minutes before the assistant manager would talk to me. We talked for a while and he asked a whole bunch of questions about me and my expertise about computers and other junk like that. He was looking around for a little while, and then picked up a sheet of paper that had three digital camera models and specs. on it and he asked me to sell him the first one. I was like … ohhhkkkayyy…
So I did … he acted like he didn’t know what “megapixels” meant … I more than explained it to him. He was fairly impressed … and then told me that this is where they would insert the little bit about getting a warrenty and whatnot. Overall, I think I did well. I had to take a friggin’ long survey that was 100 questions (many of which were oh so very redundant). I believe I passed, but right afterwards they made me wait for about 20 - 30 minutes outside the room. I was kinda bored, but whatever. The woman who “administered” my survey told me to come back at 1pm tomorrow. I was like “I don’t get out of school until 3pm …” She said that I could just come straight from school then. I laughed.
I have another interview tomorrow with the general manager, because he hurt his back or something and had to leave before I got there. I’m pretty sure that I have the job, but nothings a sure thing (especially with my luck lately).
Welly, I have to finish up some more homework and whatnot.

Adios,
-Josh “the SALESman!”

I’m having a very hard time expressing the thoughts in my head write now. A part of me just wants to spill its guts, and the other part just wants absolutely nobody to know … and I can’t decide between the two. There is so much inside of me that I’m just not saying; so much stress. Will it ever end? Will the pain ever go away? And if so, then when? Before I die?
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Why in the world do I do some of the things I do?
Was I put on this earth just to make people agitated?
When will my purpetual back luck end?

I’ll ellaborate on this tomorrow … until then … please pray for my decision making skills.

-josh

So if you don’t already know, my little creation is now up for viewing.
Guy draws them, I create the website … we earn MILLIONS … of laughs
The site took a while to get right … I think I like it right now … I’m going to add some spiffy artwork at the top later on. And we are placing google ads on the site somewhere (to be determined) in hopes of getting some money to pay for the web hosting and whatnot. So when you see it, please click it … you don’t have to do anymore than that … we get money for your clickies!
Click here to go to THE SPIFFY LIFE!

I shall write more later … I would have posted sooner, but blogsome.com has been down due to upgrades … so check back SOON!

-josh

Julie finally got her car back on Friday. It only took the auto place THREE WEEKS to fix her car (that they esitmated a week)! YAY!!!

On a more serious/depressing note:
I’ve been kind of down lately. Living at my dad’s house is still weird. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get used to ir, and more importantly, I’m not so sure that I want to. I miss my mom, and at the same time I never want to see her again … and I believe that she feels the same way by the “conservations” that we’ve had on the phone since I left. It kills me sometimes … the decisions I make (or have made). Even when I’m doing them I question what good I really thought would come out of it, but that just doesn’t seem enough to make me want to stop. It seems that no matter what I try to do to keep myself from making such poor choices, that I continue to do things that could potentially screw up the rest of my life (and some already have). The amount of guilt that I have stored up for all the things I’ve done and said to people is enough to make me explode … I wish it would all just go away and never, ever show its ugly face again. Alas, that isn’t how it works. I will have to find some way of dealing with my anger, other than acting upon it. I’m not sure how long that will take … or what that may entail … but I know that I have absolutely no choice anymore. I nearly did something that I know for a fact would have ruined whatever happiness I have left, as well as others. I hate myself so much more times than not. My only hope now is to pray, continuously. Please help me …

I found these to be very entertaining, so I am choosing to pass this pleasure along. If I were a dad and had a daughter(s), this would most definitely be my motto!

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So Winter Break is almost over and I wish that it would last forever (don’t we all). These past couple of weeks have been very hard on me. Most of the time I’m so stressed out about everything that it tends to transfer in places where it shouldn’t. Sometimes part of this goes toward either my mom or my dad, and other times it transfers to Julie. I hate this more than I hate anything else in life. Sometimes I just end up losing control entirely and just let loose. I just get so depressed sometimes that I don’t feel like living anymore, I just don’t know what to do. My actions tend to suprise me sometimes; it’s really weird. A lot of times I really just don’t know how to explain what I mean by saying this. A lot of times I don’t really think that anyone will care, and if they do I won’t be able to properly tell them what I mean by it. Honestly, I don’t even know what to type. I don’t know how to tell anyone. Many times I just get so angry at myself for what I do, for the actions I make.
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